Grave Clothes Had Me Bound
by PJ
 "Having said this, he shouted, "El'azar! Come out!" The man who had been dead came out, his hands and feet wrapped in strips of linen and his face covered with a cloth. Yeshua said to them, "Unwrap him, and let him go!"' (Yochanan / John 11:43-44 Complete Jewish Bible)
For many years, although I had received Yeshua as my Savior, and although I was baptized in Ruach HaKodesh, I had run from the calling of G-d on my life. I didn't want to go into ministry. I didn't like Christians. I didn't like the weakness and hypocrisy I saw in the Church and I didn't want to have a thing to do with it. There are many people just like the way I once was. They have run from G-d a long time and perhaps you are one of them.
I had seen for years people in religious circles and behind-the-scenes of ministries. I knew the hypocrisy that existed and just how mean people of G-d could be toward one another. I was under great calling and great anointing, but I took that calling and that anointing and assimilated into the world refusing the call of G-d upon my life. G-d had moved men to offer me scholarships to prepare me for ministry and opened doors that many people would dream about and I refused each one. My excuse? "I don't want to hang out with Christians." The world might lie but at least it wasn't being hypocritical. In fact, I considered the world a lot nicer than the people of the Church.
For years I would go to meetings and be totally distrustful of the people in them. I never could measure up to the rules and regulations the religious people set for others. I smoked....they actually hissed at smokers. They would talk about alcoholics but have a glass of wine in their homes. They would make laws and rules expecting others to follow them but not keep those laws themselves.
I liked many things about life the religious leaders didn't. I saw opportunity and joy to be among non-Christians. I liked music. I liked dancing. I liked humor. I liked people who really wanted to be around me. I enjoyed people smilling and the religious folks always looked sad, angry or upset. I enjoyed laughing and they were always so serious and so full of legalism that I felt I could not smile around them. They would talk about Jesus and then turn around and act like satan himself. I viewed many who claimed to be followers of Yeshua as liars. They had no love in them and wouldn't know love if they ran into Him. I wasn't precise enough with all their rules and regulations to be one of them. They would sing dirges and I wanted to dance to joyful notes. There was no room in religion for me...and I liked it that way.
One day in a ministry class at Oral Roberts University many years later, I had three people from separate areas of the same auditorium come to tell me the same thing. Each had seen what looked like dried scales on me fall off during our praise and worship. What they did not know, but I understood well, was G-d was renewing the calling and anointing I had treated so cheaply and with such disdain that had dried up on me. The day this occurred, I realized I could no longer run. I knew what happened. G-d was telling me to go and had set me free from bindings holding me hostage.
Grave clothes had me bound. Dried up anointings had me bound like glue. Although I was full of the spirit and chai of G-d inside I had allowed my disobedience and unforgiveness, which bring a person to death, to bind me to where I was unable to do anything at all. I hated religion....not G-d. The issue wasn't even between me and G-d. It was between me and G-d's creation.
Did you know you can love G-d with all your heart and hate what He loves? I am living proof of it. I hated religious people because they never were all they claimed to be. I loved G-d with every fiber of my being but hated men.
The freedom I received was a result of fellowship with the L-rd and others that truly loved Him. Hanging out with Yeshua in that environment set me free. Keeping my eyes on Him, I didn't have to worry any longer about what others were doing. Starting to love the people in this school environment opened the pathway. When my heart was right, all it took was a brief moment to radically erase what took many years to create.
There are a lot of people who come to this website who hate religion. And I agree, religion kills. It destroys all it touches. But religion and following Yeshua are not the same thing. So forget the religion and get to know Messiah Yeshua! He will change your life if you will let Him. He will keep His Word if you will believe Him.
Every person has been created with a special gifting only they can carry out. It is an anointing that will dry up and bind you unless you use it. Maybe you are like I once was.....unable to do anything. Want to go free? Want to live? Hang out with Yeshua and love what He loves. As you do, you will find all people have fallen short but when your eyes are on Him, you will see perfection.
(Scripture Taken from the Complete Jewish Bible by David H. Stern. Copyright � 1998. All rights reserved. Used by permission of Messianic Jewish Publishers, 6120 Day Long Lane, Clarksville, MD 21029. www.messianicjewish.net.)
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